Jan 15, 2011

Never take the childhood from the child!!!

Oprah.com was reviewing a book by author Amy Chua entitled "battle hymn by the tiger mother". It was about how the author made sure her kids were super achievers.

Personally, I think it is not fair to push children into being super achievers, but rather, being well adjusted.

Some parents tend to cheat and 'steal' the childhood from a child in the attempt to make their kids the best there is. I know of some children here in Malaysia who are so 'sheltered', they have never been on a bicycle, never been to the movies, never eaten fast food like McDonalds, KFC or pizza. And I know of some parents who keep their children so busy the poor kid always have a ballet class or a taekwondo class or a mental arithmetic class or tuition class or piano lessons, swimming lessons, art class or something, supposedly to make them better then their peers.

These poor kids have lost their 'childhood' being forced to grow up faster then they should because of what I believe to be selfish and hard to please parents.

Then again there are also lackadaisical parents who just give in to their kids whims and fancies and don't bother too much about what their kids are doing to the extent their kids become gangsters and so on. Some parents would over spoil their kids with the latest gadgets and one could see some of these kids with their nose buried in between some playstation or playstation portable (PSP).

I believe a child should be a child. Having 3 kids of my own, I make sure their only extra activities are only religious classes 3 times a week at 10mins per session and also tuition (only during important school years- if they are weak at their subjects). My children have plenty of time to do what they want, but at the same time I make sure that their studies and schoolwork is up to par and not too below grade.

Overstressing and over forcing the child can cause severe repercussions like making the kids stressed, and even if they keep thinking they fail to please their parents, they may run away or worse, commit suicide. There has been enough cases of kids not getting the results they expected or maybe what their parents expected committing suicide after getting their exam results.

And in the first place, not every brainiacs who superachieve went on to be successful people and there are lots of children who had fun and enjoyed their childhood and were just average students in school who went on to be equally or even more successful people then the brainiacs.

The bottom line is stop comparing your child or belittling your child and let them, encourage them, to be the best they can be, but at the same time, let them enjoy their childhood and life within reason. It is so much more important to have a well adjusted and happy child then a stressed out , resentful over achiever who later on in life turn out to nothing...

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone


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