As a woman, it is in our DNA to sometimes selfishly compete with one another. And while competition is healthy, it certainly is not when we try to pull the other person down or put the other person down… Competition always happen when it comes to men, friends, attention, recognition , opportunities and even self worth. Things you can actually gain and things you can not gain. So why are women this bad?
As a blogger, there are times something good can happen to you, especially if you are on track and dedicated enough… but well, beware as well as somehow or other one of your other friends or blogger acquaintances finds out about it and starts an issue on why was she not invited/ included etc… Talk about a wet blanket! It could be a paid event, a trip and a lot of other things… And if you let it, your mood probably can switch from happiness to annoyance and irritation.
I must admit that there are times I feel envious of some of my friends and fellow bloggers when they get to attend some very fancy event I was not invited, or when they are invited for some amazing trip somewhere….but I also feel happy for them and try to improve myself wherever I can with the hope of future opportunities…
Yes, we can envy the other woman who has more jobs, invitation, opportunities etc. Sometimes you wonder how she came by her opportunities and why she never share it with you –and when this happens, have you ever stop to think if you have taken it upon yourself to share some of your opportunities you had with her….
Some of the more bitter people might even start bitching about how the other woman has came about those opportunities in a suspicious way.
All you can see is the little things she is getting to enjoy, the little opportunities she had which you did not get and you are all worked up over it.. What about her entire life story? Do you ever stop to think that she probably deserved this heaven sent break in her life….
What most of us never think is that instead of constantly just comparing with each other and bitching about how unfair everything is, is that we should perhaps try to learn from one another and do the best we can and support each other the best we can instead of just competing to see who can do it better and get better opportunities…
Remember the parable of the single stick which is easily breakable in comparison with a pile of sticks which is of course, far more resilient.
Sad to say most of us women are too caught up with our own self interest instead…. We should ponder about this as when we get over jealous and irritated at other people and try our best to bring the other person down, it is a direct extension of how you feel about yourself, and when you try to make someone else feel bad or embarrassed of who they are, it’s deplorable.
A happy, secure person just want to share their joy and happiness…..
Why not be a good friend and mentor by being open, honest, fair, and consistent. Go out of your way to help your peers - “paying it forward” are beneficial for both parties. I am not about to brag and say I am better then anyone but there are times I try to pick up my friends and help them however little I can without really expecting much in return but then sometimes this can result in surprises when the other person decides to reciprocate in whatever way she can….
At the same time, never give up on your dreams. Following your passions and be a good example for all the women that surround you….
Be a lifelong learner. Be curious. Ask be willing to questions and listen. Accumulate whatever you can learn and be willing to share your knowledge with others - both the successes and the failures. Selfishness never profited anyone…
And do try to keep a strong community of women in your life, other women who are willing to argue with you, challenge you, and support you instead of just trying to bring you down or destroying your chances because they did not get the chance…this can of course include family, friends, and peers.
I am blessed to have some of these women in my life… you know who you are… thanks for being there for me to argue and bitch sometimes and still always support me… Face it, we always will flourish with the support and love from the women in our lives and as I am saying this, do of course avoid those energy vampires who try to do the direct opposite and try to put or drag you down whenever they can… I very “beh tahan” (tak boleh/ cannot stand) those people..
Ok.... this is the end of my POV/ rant...... tell me how you feel if you will.......
Bye for now....
couldn't agree more, makes me wonder what does jealousy bring a person anywayReplyDelete
I have absolutely no idea... huhu... being envious is healthy but when you try to demean the other person and such... that is not...Delete
This is so thoughtful and indeed so true, it is the most difficult thing to understand.ReplyDelete
Yes, I do have jealousy when seeing some of the bloggers get more invitation but usually I will happy for them. I did not get any attention does not mean I not good enough. I just love to become myself. This is only my own opinion.ReplyDelete
that is just healthy envy... and it is also 'rezeki' sometimes you get more then the others... sometimes the others get more.... just support whenever we can and not bad mouth or demean the other person....Delete