Dec 27, 2013

Of awesome mother figures in my life

Some people are blessed in their life to have great mothers who will sacrifice and do anything at all for their own children.
Some people are not so lucky. I belong in the second category where my mother would prefer to criticise and judge before trying to understand. Where sometimes the  sympathy I so badly wish for would just fall on deaf ears etc...Don't get me wrong, I am not saying my mother is a bad person. But she is some what kind of self absorbed,  expecting to come first in everyone's life, as well as mine, never mind that I am married have a life of my own and 3 other kids to feed and cater for. This often sets us at odds with each other.
I guess I was not lucky when I was given my parents or given to my parents. My father, on seeing that I am not the son he hoped for, conveniently just deleted me from his life upon his divorce from my mother, so I never enjoyed a father's love anyway.
However, in my 38 years, God showed me and put me in close proximity to two awesome women whom I truly respect.
One of them is my ex mother in law, or rather, my ex husband's mother in Penang. She is truly the best mother in law anyone can ask for. Or surrogate mom. She brought up my two older children when I couldn't and she is such a blessing in my life.
Up to today, 15 years or more after being divorced from my ex husband, she still cares for me alot. She never poisons my children mind, when they were in her care and  she always offered me her home or anything she could. All these which really moves and touches me a lot.
Example of this would be: On my very recent visit to Penang, she let me stay in her home and even cooked special dishes for me. Now she is not rich and even at her age, has a stall in the market selling simple breakfast.
When I was about to go home, she even forked out some money and urged me to take it. I really was so moved by what she did and how she treated me. Not many women would do that to an very exed daughter in law.
Another awesome mother figure is my husband's ex mother in law. A soft spoken  and very caring lady, she is graceful and accepts even me and my children into her family treating us like part of her family. So much so my children also love her very much. She always assures us her door is open for us and we have a place to come whenever. Spending time in her house for Hari Raya and other times are a norm for all of us.
These two ladies are truly awesome, warm and giving. I really respect and do in some ways love them alot...and they are my inspiration.  I do hope I can be a great mother in law like them and a mother to my little girl like that...
I know I kind of missed my chance with my older kids, but well, I try to make up however I can.. I pray God will bless this two awesome ladies while they still live and that I can still go and visit them for a very long time.. and when their time here on this earth is over, they do truly deserve a place in heaven.

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