Firstly, I do not claim a relationship expert, but well, having messed up a lot in my younger years, and having been in and out relationships, and this time married again for about 14 years, I am just sharing a few tips which I think can be beneficial and helpful with my friends and readers who are reading this..
1. Do get to know his friends and try be on their good side, while respecting their space...
Most of his friends would have been in his life for at least a decade or longer then you. They've been through thick and thin together and you're the newbie who is just entering the picture.
So make the effort to be polite and nice while giving them space. Sometimes, it really amazes me and makes me shake my head when I hear of girlfriends or wives trying to control all of their partner/ husband's time.. Like what is wrong with your man getting to spend time with his friends...
On my part, my husband has his twice or tri- weekly teh tarik/ coffee sessions with his besties and we always joke about how he has to go on a date with his 'boyfriends'... but I respect their time out..
2. Learn to be independent..
While men want like to feel needed to some degree, a normal man would appreciate his girlfriend or wife being independent.
A normal man will hate thinking they are "on call" all the time and can't even get some private time of their own, and it can be a major turnoff, especially if you just started dating.
Besides, being independent is very important to all women. You really should not totally rely on your husband, because if anything happens, you will be left stranded. I don't just mean if your relationship go wrong, but also, even in case of a perfect relationship , as life is uncertain, and we could lose our husbands in an accident, or illness, and if we are totally dependent on him, what happens after he is gone?
There fore it is very important to be independent, and have your own income, savings, etc to fall back on... and besides, there is something sexy in being an independent woman rather then a clinger on... sorry...
3. Stop being too possessive or jealous unnecessarily..
Men are visual creatures, and will notice a gorgeous woman. If you can understand this and don't take it personally, you are actually minimizing unproductive fights about jealousy.
When a wife overreacts to a situation, her husband will likely feel defensive, and eventually, resentful.
Call me crazy but I have learned to be a sport, and even wolf whistle at a gorgeous woman my husband was looking at..
Heck, it work both ways.. I confess I love seeing handsome men as well.. and personally it would be bloody annoying if my husband wanted to argue or fight over every guy he catch me looking at...
4. Don’t snoop.
Bottom line is why on earth are you in a relationship or married to that guy if you cannot trust him and have to check his inbox or online history... Don't you trust him?
If so, have it out with him or her – you don’t need evidence, you need to talk it out as it’s important your partner is able to talk to you about those feelings.
I for one strongly believe if you cannot trust him at all, why are you married to him.. and besides, sometimes the more suspicious you are, the more he is gonna do it...
5. Do not try to change your boyfriend/ husband
Yes, people can change, but why not focus on our own positive changes, rather than your partner's behavior.
Sadly, some women see a relationship or marriage as a starting point for a "boyfriend / husband makeover."
If you cannot accept your boyfriend or husband for who he is.. why are you in the relationship?
Avoid creating a relationship in which your husband can't be himself. When a man feels he can't just be a guy—whether it's walking around in his boxers or letting out a burp—he'll feel like he's been put in a box and he will not like it at all...
There are just so many things about my husband which I hate, but which I put up with because of respect and I am also sure there are just so many things about me my husband dislike as well which he also put up with.. we are after all not perfect beings, so learn to accept each other with all our faults and weaknesses...
6. Have healthy arguments, not accusations..
Do not corner and attack your boyfriend or husband out of the blue. Try talking it out nicely... yeah... the "We need to talk" is a good start, even if it sounds scary.. but talk it out reasonably, discuss it, not simply fly at him and attack him with your outburst like a crazy woman.
In a relationship or marriage, both parties plays a role in the happiness or unhappiness of the relationship. It can be easy blaming the other person as the “reason” for the issue. And it's true that one person can be more “at fault” than another but it can go a long way in a conversation to first recognize and apologize for your part instead of just instantly placing blame.
Then of course, make up and have make up sex, and love each other more... hahaha
7. Hug for 2 minutes and kiss for 30 seconds each day.
Besides physical intimacy like sex, hugs and kisses do offer some feel-good benefits as oxytocin, a chemical our bodies release when we touch one another, emotionally connecting people..
So if and when you make it a point to hug your partner and kiss for 30 seconds each day, you'll feel a new sense of connection...
Hug or kiss him before he goes off to work or just a surprise cuddle can do a whole lot of good... and a great stress reliever as well..
On the other hand you can occasionally offer to give him back rubs and so on, which he will definitely love...
8. Stop the drama
Most guys dislikes drama, and so do I, the only drama I love is the one on TV..
Your boyfriend or husband might try to listen and offer support as much as they can, but if and when you keep on talking badly about people whom he thought were your friends, or his friends or family members, that is a major red flag... so.... stop the drama and leave it on the TV or in the cinema.. huhu
9. Learn to spend time alone.
This is kind of like number 2.. but slightly different..
Everybody needs a little time away.. far away from each other.. Even lovers need a holiday.. Yes, we really need to love ourselves and take time out from work and relationships, to go do your own stuff, travel, pursue your hobbies and dreams, get away with your relatives, besties, but of course, I don't mean go and cheat outside... and allow your spouse to have the freedom to do that as well..
You will come back to your relationship refreshed, more able to express your needs (as you’re more likely to know what they are). We will always ultimately be a mystery to each other – it’s more healthy for this to be acknowledged, celebrated even, than denied.
My husband and I both have our time off, when I go of traveling, or when he goes off for his trips and holidays with his buddies and even ex-wife and children.. People around me ask why I allow that, and it is simple, we are not joint to the hips, but well, we respect each other and trust each other..
10. Surprise your partner occasionally..
There is nothing sweeter then surprising your partner or husband with something you think he likes occasionally.. whether it is flowers, his favorite food, his favorite snacks, his favorite magazine or book or something you think he might like.. it's not all about just your husband giving things to you, but you can also be sweet and romantic to him....
Ok... enough said... hope these tips are helpful for all you ladies in a relationship or marriage... stay lovely, open minded, understanding, loving and independent.. hehehe...
NOTE- pictures and gifs taken from google and do not belong to me